"Perfect" mother with "Perfect" baby!?!?

I take my gorgeous 14 month old son to baby group every week and one of the other mothers makes me feel so ashamed.





She obviously has pots of money and turns up in her brand spanky new car, always togged up to the nines in trendy smart clothes. Her son is like a picture-book baby. Each week he is wearing a different, obviously-very-expensive piece of designer baby wear, and he sits there like a little angel, never misbehaves, is never sick on himself or messed his clothes up.





I trundle up in my horrible, knackered old 15 year old car, wearing my charity shop clothes, with my beautiful, rambunctious little boy in HIS charity shop clothes (and usually wearing the remnants of his breakfast!) The first thing he does when he gets into the hall is to rip off his shoes and socks (and sometimes his trousers) and toddle around screaming, yelling and having a grand old time! He never sits still and never looks tidy!





Anyone else feel like a bad mum at times like these?

"Perfect" mother with "Perfect" baby!?!?
Would you rather have an active ambitious toddler that enjoys life or one that looks timid and scared?? I would prefer to have the one that enjoys life like your toddler does, be happy with what you have, cause you have more than what that other family will ever have.
Reply:dont ever think your a bad mum at times like this. yh your prob thinking your 17 and pregnant wot do you no i have a 3yr old brother and hes like that and he loves it never feel bad im goin to b like that when my baby comes i dont mind as long as hes well and happy thats all wot mattas. x
Reply:Don't judge her for it, it is just her circumstances as opposed to yours. She's obviously a good mother just as you are. her baby maybe just naturally placid....like I was, I was so quiet
Reply:Don't worry about it. She probably feel hugely insecure that everything has to be so perfect all the time. The grass is always greener but i bet her son hasn't got half as much life in him than yours!! You never know she might be thinking "I wish i didn't have to try so hard all the time" and "i wish my son would get excited and run around like the life and soul of the party"





Please don't let this worry you. Who cares if you wear clothes from a charity shop, SHALLOW PEOPLE do!! So they're not worth knowing. Kids are kids, they spill stuff, they throw up, it's just what they do. Don't be so hard on yourself!!





I'd rather have a crazy kid who is confident enough to run around like a nutter, than a subdued child
Reply:Actually, to me he sounds far from 'perfect'. He sounds like a baby who is too stifled and afraid to have fun and be a child.


And how much fun can you have playing with your children when you're too scared to mess up your hair or ruin your 'perfect' outfit?





Have fun and enjoy your child, he sounds exactly right!
Reply:Try not to compare yourself to other mums and babies, I know it's hard not to, but i've had 3 and i've learnt all children are different, where my first boy was always quite tidy and good to take out, my second boy is the opposite and to anyone else would seem like a nightmare child but to me he's my baby and i love him! Good parenting isn't about having lots of money anyway, as long as your son is happy that's all that matters. Anyway you can get lovely baby clothes in charity shops, babies hardly wear them before they're outgrown so they're like new anyway. Don't worry! x x
Reply:Your son sounds awesome! Perfect people are just annoying!
Reply:I felt bad too that I couldn't keep my kids clean all the time and then one day a lady at preschool said,"A dirty kid is a happy kid!" and they have to go to school to get these jobs so I thought ,"good!" Then I am being a good mom. I gave them baths every night and they were clean when they went to bed. It sounds like this other mummy might be abusing her little boy. He shouldn't be afraid to smile?! Thats just weird.
Reply:i doubt that either child will remember how much their baby clothes cost or how loud they were or what kinda car you took them places in





it sounds like your son is on the road to becoming a well roudned individual - her sonw ill have to break out later on to maintain his own sanity
Reply:Your child is clearly happy and healthy and enjoying being a child. Don't let people like this make you feel like a bad mother.





You child sounds like a typical toddler but her's sounds like he is bored. There is more to motherhood that having your child look good.





Don't stress about it. Just enjoy your child. I prefer kids with character to those that sit there staring.
Reply:that must be so annoying and disheartening but at the end of the day this woman isnt even ur friend......why worry about her? im sure other people arent thinking badly of you, they probably are as envious of her as u r. You can guarantee that they probably feel as bad. Guilt is something that women are evolutionarily hardwired to feel more anyway, so its probably just ur homones trying to ensure that ur doing a good job as a mother. Im sure you are, dont worry about this other woman as your son sounds pretty normal!! As a 22 yr old female without kids, I cant relate to this all that well but I hope this helps a little bit !
Reply:Your child sounds happier than hers. As long as you love your child (like you obviously do) that's all he needs not designer material things that don't mean anything to him.
Reply:I want to be your friend and have my kids be friends with yours not the other gals!!
Reply:You sound like a fantastic Mum to me, you're son will grow up having a fantastic time, it's great that he feels he has the$freedom to throw his clothes off have fun and get dirty.
Reply:your deffinatly not a bad mum so what if you cant afford your kid desighner gear do you love him and give him all the attention he needs cause thats all that matters and if her son sits there doing nothing then he will never learn your kid is running around enjoying and learning it sounds to me like this women thinks of her child as a fasion accessorie dont feel bad ime sure your a fantastic mum money cant buy love and safety thats all a child needs and worry that your child is running around in playgroup they are used to it i think theyd get bored if all the kids just sat doing nothing pick your chin up and keep doing s good job good luck =D
Reply:I feel exactly like you with my 3 kids, our clothes are from second hand stores as well... Just remember.... it's not what you wear, what you drive nor who your family is. It about being happy with yourself, your life and that everyone is health and loved...
Reply:Man, clothes and other materialistic things DO NOT make a person . . . adult and child alike. Children will be children, and anyone who is incapable of that realization are idiots in my book. All that other mother is teaching her kid is that money and looks are everything. Is that what you want for your child as well? There is nothing wrong in teaching your children how to be thrifty. My teenage boys have clowned their friends about paying $3 for the same pair of name-brand jeans as their friends. Forget that show-off mom . . . obviously she feels she needs to (over) compensate for SOMETHING!!
Reply:Your son is perfectly normal and by the sounds of it a happy as Larry, you sound like a good mum to me. Children grow out of clothes so quickly so who cares where their clothes come from. You love them, you try to keep them on the right path, I would bet your a great mum so don't drive yourself mad about the others. Remember it's what you give of yourself to them not how much they can cram in their rooms.





The other mother has perfect clothes, car, a well behaved child and I would bet an immaculate house to. Problems for her in the future i would predict is either a child who expects to get everything they want and isn't grateful when they do or a child who is so far into themselves they withdraw from society and may very well do themselves harm or end up having a nervous break down. I feel sorry for the little fella he sounds like he is more of an accessory than a child who should be loved for just being himself.
Reply:yes i used to feel just the way you do now (mine are 5 + 6) and i still do sometimes but from your writing all i can say is that your son sounds happy, energetic, outgoing and free to express himself so as far as i can see you're a great mum - keep up the good work.





much better to have a child with some spirit and a sense of themselves than one who has been trained to sit still and look nice all the time!
Reply:My mum worked in a creche where some of the mothers where absolutely minted. She said they caused the most damage to the development of their child, often turning up 15minutes later than other parents to collect their child, although distemper in the children was indiscriminate.


If you are worried about the image of another parent, and she isn't worried about you, then perhaps pride should swell and over-come the well-bred-stock rubbish.


It's a designer baby, and the faults only arise when it's too late to fix them. Take Brittany Spears for example.
Reply:You shouldn't worry about such superficial things, especially, when you're being honest with yourself, you know in your heart that your little bundle of joy isn't all that attractive after all.


I mean, why else would you continuously, (referencing "gorgeous" and "beautiful"), try to convince us of this fairytale.


Relax, he will most likely grow out of those Chimpanzee-like facial features.


Good luck and be happy with little "Bonzo."
Reply:hi there i feel the same sometimes, mostly when i drop my 2 and 3 yr old daughters at nursery so i can work, i drop them off at 8.30 we have to leave home at 8. i brush and tie their hairs up when i get there, straighten their clothes out and wipe breakfast off my youngests head (shes so mucky) but i feel like a real rubbish mum because the other mums (older than me im only 21) turn up in their suits their children in very expensive clothes all absolutely immaculate, but im know im not a rubbish mum and you shouldnt feel ashamed or feel inadequate in any way because as i do you will give your son the best you can possibly give him and most importantly you love him, he loves you and you know that he is a happy little boy. chin up mate! xx
Reply:my 3 kids all the same never look clean and tidy but they get lot of love and they are happy to me as long as they are happy my life is perfect
Reply:I think there is no such thing as a 'perfect' mother and child. We all do the best we can and learn from our mistakes. Babies dont care about fancy clothes or cars, They care that there is always a loving face close by, for cuddles and kisses. You sound like you are doing the best you possibly can. Keep it up : )
Reply:You sound like a great mum! Your lovely boy will grow up knowing he was loved!


My daughter always has the end of her breakfast/lunch/tea over her but its part of being a baby!


As you said this little one never smiles (which is not his fault). Hes probably already trained by his very shallow mother to sit there and look pretty!


There is absolutely nothing wrong with charity clothes. I have given a huge amount of outgrown clothes to them and they were all in fantastic condition and ive picked up a good few bargains at them too!





Theres no such thing as the perfect mum or child but you are definately in the fantastic mum category and your son will tell you that himself one day!!!xxx
Reply:Now that just about sounds perfect to me :)





Mother of 3 sons who knows exactly how u feel ... its a beautiful thing lol





u aint a bad mother sounds pretty much normal to me :)
Reply:Thats why we never go on play dates. I am soo afriad people will look at me like I am trash. i wear nice clothes, my kids are always dressed nice, i have a nice suv. But My kids cut up and are not well behaved and I am a very young mom. (22) So the play dates that we were invited the moms are older and have alot more money then us. Also the play dates rotate houses and i am too embrassed for anyone to come here. So to answer your question we all feel like that some times!
Reply:why on earth do you continue to interact with women who choose to abuse you emotionally???? get a backbone and some real friends.



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